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Book Synopsis:
24-year old Pax Tate is an asshole.
Seriously.
He's a tattooed, rock-hard bad-boy with a bad attitude to match.
But he's got his reasons.
His mother died when Pax was seven, leaving a hole in his heart filled with guilt although he doesn't understand why. What he does know is that he and his dad are left alone and with more issues than they can count.
As Pax grew up, he tired to be the kid his father always wanted; the perfect golden boy, but it didn't work. His dad couldn't overcome his grief long enough to notice and Pax couldn't keep up the impossible facade.
Now, he uses drugs and women to cope with the ugliness, the black void that he doesn't want to deal with. If he pretends that the emptiness isn't there, then it isn't right?
Wrong.
And it's never more apparent than when he meets Mila. Sweet, beautiful Mila HIll is the fresh air to his hardened frown, the beauty to his ugly heart. He doesn't know how to not hurt her, but he quickly realizes that he's got to figure it out because he needs her to breathe.
Review:
OMG!! Talk about a straight eye catching opener to the book. Just in the first few pages you are drawn in by the insanity of how the author starts her book. I can already see that this book was going to take me to a whole other level in dark and broken guy theme. I don't know how I would have responded if I was to happen upon a scene like, maybe something similar to what Mila did. I don't know!!
I know this is crazy and I am sure there a lot of people out there that get tired of the bad boy, good girl books. Where the girl saves the guy from destruction and so forth, but not me, I don't know if it is because these books make me feel like no situation can't be overcome, that there is always a chance for everything to work out in the end. I can just relate with a lot of the characters in books like these, either way they are a great read and this one is no different.
"I feel there's a certain sadness to him, probably because his eyes hint at things that I don't yet know about him, troubled things. His body is hard, his face is hard, his eyes are hard. Like stone."
There was so much passion in this book, between the arguments, the happiness and the sexual encounters!! Mila and all her sweet innocent can turn out to be not so innocent, haha...but hey who could blame her, we are talking about a hot piece of man and he goes by the name of Pax Tate!! Hot and steamy, that is all I can throw out there!! :)
"I want you tonight," she tells me in my ear. Her teeth nip at my earlobe. "Please Pax."
I groan and pull away looking at her. "I thought you wanted to wait?"
She smiles an endearing and wicked smile. "Fuck that," she says. "I want you now."
This book had me so full of emotions. Pax really had a lot of demons he was dealing with. The remembering the past was enough to bring anyone down. I really did not see that coming, I was going in a total different directions. Wow, talk about bringing you to your knees with shock!! I think I would have probably be in the same shape he was if I had to deal with that memory!! My heart ached for him and my whole opinion of him being just a complete ass was changed. It's amazing what we do to ourselves sometimes to cope with pain.
"I know now what the void was that was always in me. It was this. This horrible knowledge. Even though my mind was concealing it, deep down in a hidden place, I knew. It's why I've always felt empty, why I always welcomed oblivion."Mila, what a strong girl. She tried her best to be supportive and caring, so many people would have just turned their back on someone like Pax. She really never gave up, even when she had to make the decision that would break her.
"Mila, that day in your shop almost crushed me. When you said no to me, I didn't know if I would survive it, but I knew I had to.""If You Stay," was a beautifully written story. Courtney Cole style of writing is unique and descriptive, I love the way you are able to feel the story. I really glad I took a chance on this book, I was afraid at first it would be similar to the last few I have read and some of the reviews were turning me away, but I decided to go ahead and read it, and I am so glad I did. I feel like everyone has a chance to come out of the darkness that keeps them hidden, that judging others before you know their whole story is not right and giving up is not an option.
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